noreasonneeded | IC/Overflow Post

It does. I want to hear my students ideas, not just a rehash of what other academics say.

[This whole thing feels very normal and sweet. Aside from the crawling in the window part.]

[Life and death situations are a way of life for him, so compartmentalizing when one happens is second nature by now. It's certainly no reason to wallow in his view, nor does he wish to bring work topics to her doorstep. She's doing enough for him letting him stay over, or at least it's how he sees it.]

Thinking for one's self is a muscle not many master flexing.

[She is always happy to talk about his work with him, it is never a burden]

They really don't and it's especially sad when they make it all the way to University.

You'd do well as a literature major if you ever changed careers.

It certainly doesn't sound like I missed out on much with traditional schooling. Though now I'm curious, how does a muse learn? Did you have tutors on Olympus? Are your kind simply born knowing things?

[There's a funny momentary glint to his gaze at that.]

You're not the first to say my time would have been well spent in university.

We did have tutors. And then time does the rest, really.

I think you like to learn, and that's a pretty rare thing at times.

Experiences over time are often the most lasting of lessons.

I would rather know something than not. As cliche as it sounds, ignorance isn't bliss, it's asking to be blindsided. One never knows what knowledge might someday come in handy. ... plus, yes, I do enjoy it. Once I've found a question I can't rest without an answer.

How about you, were you a good student or a little troublemaker?

That's honestly what makes the best students. The ones that can't rest until they've figured something out.

[There is an intelligence about him that goes beyond book smarts and she really respects him for it.]

I was very good. I'm incredibly boring like that.

And see, my crew just says that's one of the many annoying qualities about me. That I can't let anything rest. I should have known to get a teacher's perspective sooner.

[He's giving his crooked grin as he says it, and there's a fondness to his raspy tone that says it's all meant in good fun. There's no actual ill-intent from his friends, he knows that. It's still nice to hear though what Stella says. His intellect is one of the areas he's genuinely proud of in regards to himself.]

Wanting to learn from presumably people worth learning from doesn't sound boring. That sounds smart on your part. I've never found you boring. You're... refreshing. [There's a small pause.] I just made you sound like lemonade, didn't I.

[Well, he's given worse compliments.]

Edited 2023-10-01 21:15 (UTC)

You've needed to hang out with an academic who can appreciate your need to figure everything out.

[She is well aware of how high of a regard he holds his crew in. It's still a cute little joke, and he does seem more inclined to make jokes around her now.]

That's rather sweet. I'm just happy to be delicious. At least I assume I'd be a good lemonade, just the right sour and sweet combination.

Apparently, that's what was missing from my social circle. Sometimes you never realize what's lacking until you find it. Though admit it, a lot of the chatter you hear on Speaker's Bridge by the university is just pompous windbagging, isn't it?

[He is feeling like he can let some walls down with her by now, where it's not all business and cold hard surfaces. He does have a sense of humor he doesn't mind showing around people he's coming to trust like her. It doesn't hurt that she's fully willing and capable of teasing back.]

I'm sure you'd make a great lemonade. Never trust someone who can't handle tartness.

[Done eating for the moment he leans back against her sofa cushions, drink in hand. It feels supremely odd to not have a pile of work in front of him that he's doing while talking. It's been a very, very long time since he spent a night not working, even if some of his thoughts are still on it.]

Most of it. Academics love to hear themselves talk and use real big words to show off.

[She trusts him quite a lot and their banter is truly enjoyable. They're both just sort of comfortable on her sofa. She's turned a bit to be able to get a better look at him.]

I can handle a tart. [She laughs.]

You have a rather nice profile, quite angular.

And are you ever guilty of it? Should I have some CVC words on hand to bring you back down to earth after a symposium?

[It's a very comfortable couch, and good company. And, for once, he can't distract himself with other matters to avoid noticing such pleasures.]

Taken in any context, I'll remember that.

[The teasing stills when she compliments his appearance. Unlike his intellect, other compliments leave him less the self-assured demonic Bastard of the Barrel and more like a human with foibles. It isn't that the compliment isn't nice to hear, it is, he's just not used to them. Nor knowing what to do with them.]

Most worry my angles will cut them if they get too close. Though I always figured that was more figurative than literal angles. Most aren't wrong, though.

... then again, you aren't like most people. For such a self-proclaimed dull person, you're rather fearless in how you go about living.

I am sometimes. I need to fit in by showing off my extensive vocabulary at times.

[Catching him by surprise always seems to please her. She does imagine he isn't often complimented, especially not about something like appearance.]

I don't think I'd be cut. But I wouldn't be surprised if you punched me if I tried to touch you.

[And she respects that. She can see trauma when it's that obvious, Stella just hopes someday he will be comfortable enough to talk about it.]

Am I? I guess it's easy to be fearless when you can't die.

You can always use sesquipedalian phrases when I'm around, I'll only mock you if it gets too severe.

[He can't help teasing her a little, even though he'd perfectly welcome a diverse vocabulary. Sometimes a colorful phrase just gets a point across better.]

I don't imagine you're the sort of person who'd try to touch me. Physically, at least.

[Stella isn't above trying to touch him emotionally through his many walls. Gently so far, and while a few years ago that would have been met with a verbal punch in return, he's trying to be better about it these days. He does want to heal, even if it's not always clear how to go about it. Not biting the hand of those who matter to him seems like a decent place to start, though.]

I don't know about that. Given some of the things I've seen in this world, surviving through it isn't for the faint of heart. I don't presume you've had an easy go throughout your existence. Perseverance is often in spite of fear, not for lack of it.

That is a very high point word right there.

[She absolutely loves it.]

Not until you're ready, if you ever are.

[She isn't shy about letting him know that she would like to touch someday. But she quite literally has all the time in the world. Stella is in no rush, and if she never gets more than a gloved handshake, she will be just as happy.

As for emotionally, he seems like he needs a little emotional prodding. Sometimes it just takes the right combination of people and time to start to heal ]

I've seen so many tragedies. I've been in some, played dead in a ransacked village; seen so many wars. And there's still good that sparkles through the darkness.

Edited (spelling iz hard) 2023-10-01 22:46 (UTC)

I do like winning, don't think I won't keep track. I'm also very good with numbers.

[He is also a math and magic nerd, along with his poetry collection and grand speeches. He'll wax poetic about finances, fair warning, Stella.

It's because she's encouraging with being pushy that he's having talks like this, whereas once it would have felt impossible. He would like to touch one day, too. And Kaz Brekker is not a man who backs down from a challenge.

He's also noticed that she often downplays herself, calling herself dull for being good or saying she's fearless because she's immortal rather than possessing an inner strength. He feels it important to say otherwise.]

That doesn't sound like someone who hasn't known fear then just because they're immortal. That sounds like someone who chooses to live on her terms despite how rocky the road can get.

I expect you will start a tally straight away.

[She's very good at smiling and nodding through dull lectures. She can manage a long diatribe about finances.]

Sometimes I think you see more to me than I do. And it really moves me.

[She is quite touched by his assements of her. And his refusal to let her downplay herself.]

Color coded, with bonuses already planned.

[Well-timed stimulating discourse on the wonders of book balancing, she'll see. Or not, but that's entirely what it'll be for him.]

We all see ourselves through an inward lens. There's always both value to that, and a limit to it. I have noticed that you seem to downplay parts of yourself that aren't revolving around your artistic inspirations and talents. Why is your story to tell, if you ever want to share.

I quite look forward to that.

[She has reclined back a little her head on the back edge of the sofa, turned to look at him.]

I imagine no small part of it is because I'm a woman. There has been throughout history this almost need for a woman to minimize herself to keep from being a threat to men. I'm also the youngest of my siblings and had all the teasing and being excused sometimes that comes along with it.

[She's thankfully on his left side, so he can shift so that his left knee is up on the sofa, foot hanging off of it, so that he can better face her as they talk. His right leg remains down on the floor, as it'd be asking a lot of his bad leg to sit like this with it bent as his left was. He gives a nod as she talks, because while it's not something he's experienced based on his gender, he's seen it happen with the women in his life.]

I've seen that happen even now. And based on that, just know I know it might take more than once telling you that I like hearing your voice for it to stick, if it ever does. I like anyone knowing their worth though, and I don't mind repeating. I don't find it intimidating. It's frankly a shortsighted person who doesn't encourage the talents in others. I'd rather have someone capable in what I'm not on my side, then leave us both floundering.

It is nice to hear though. And I do really appreciate it.

[Stella likes being appreciated in her true form and nature. Which is something she often has lied about in the past.]

You going to tell me one of your dark secrets so we can be even?

I’m glad you appreciate it. It’s true.

[He’s not merely saying it to earn her favor. Kaz never goes out of his way to flatter. He gets by based on his merit, and if he values someone else, he’s honest about it without needing to add in anything else.]

Knowing I’m a gang boss isn’t dark enough? [He says it a little teasingly as he takes a sip of his glass, but he knows what she means. His job is water sliding off marble, it doesn’t hit him below the surface. He’s quiet for a long, long moment.]

The person who encouraged me to go to school. It was my brother. He would have done anything to make it happen. [Kaz gives a small shrug.] But it didn’t. [He leans forward, pouring more wine into his glass and offering her more if she wants it.]

Who turned you onto sweet wines? Was it just popular back in the day?

Edited 2023-10-02 02:29 (UTC)

[She knows when a compliment is a genuine thing and his are. And they are rare because of it.]

Gang boss is superficial.

[She doesn't mind the silence between them while he decides what, if anything he is ready to share.

What he paints is limited. But the lines are big enough to read between. Kaz didn't go to school, and has never mentioned his brother: so his brother must be dead.

She nods for more wine.]

It was just popular. We had wine with every meal, it was like water for us. It was also safer than water for a long time in history. I may not die, but I can get food poisoning and it is still awful.

I look good doing it, though.

[He's teasing. Kaz would never genuinely compliment his appearance. Not because he thinks he's hideous, although Nina makes fun of his haircut, but because the only thing he really values about how he looks is the mercher image he presents. He likes mocking those in power by mimicking their style of dress.

It's followed by a little wince at the mention of food poisoning.]

It's definitely a miserable experience. I don't think my abs have gotten as much of a workout as they did when I've had food poisoning.

Mostly these days I'm just addicted to coffee.

You do actually. You cut an imposing figure.

[The fancy clothes suit him and they make a point. She understands the message he is putting out by dressing the way he does.]

It is. I hate getting sick, there is nothing that grounds you the same way as feeling terrible.

I have noticed you seemingly endless supply of coffee.

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