For a moment she says nothing, just watching him as he tries to unravel this riddle she's still waiting to slip off the tip of his tongue. But Kaz falls silent. His words take her aback to a time when things where simpler, when criminals were bad guys and heroes simply saved the day. Back when Kate would break the law thinking those little transgressions meant nothing. She had a goal to meet. She was looking forward to save the day. To one day follow Clint's massive footsteps, filling those soles an inch at a time.
But the future didn't bring her closer to fighting aliens or saving the city. Those petty crimes she commited became actual robbery and even assault. But its all about saving the underdog, isn't it? The underdogs that are now her family. These days she faces even worse criminals than the street gangs she used to fight.
Vigilante or thief, she's been someone fit for the Dregs for longer than she realized.
"Is there a question somewhere in there?" Amusement is obvious in her voice as the meaning of Kaz's words that, ironically, it catches her just around the corner, right as she teases him. She was so distracted by what her own definition of 'fighting for' is that she almost misses what she's got right under her nose.
Her hand, tucked against her shoulder, is inches away from Kaz's.
"You're not alone in this fight, you know?" She points out, only now realizing for how long she's been by herself without realizing it. Even in the most traditional sense of the word, she's been going out there in the night alone, Clint's lessons coming from calls as he enjoyed his retirement with his family.
It's been a long time since she's put a face to something worth fighting for.
Tipping the back of her hand towards his shoulder, she softly carresses it with her knuckles.
"I can be a total idiot sometimes. But I swear to you, there's nothing I want more than to stay here, by your side."
As the very mature owner of a growing empire and leader of the Dregs, Kaz sticks his tongue out at Kate when she points out that his question isn't actually a question.
He stiffens at first at the touch, holding his breath and counting until he can adjust to it. He still has to prepare himself for contact, to brace and slowly let himself get acclimated. It's getting easier with Kate for him to fight back that initial wave of panic and remain stable at the contact. After he gives himself a few moments he reaches over to slowly, and lightly, clasp the hand that's touching him for a brief moment.
"No. I know I'm not alone. Neither are you." They've combined forces in many ways, and while they still had the occasional hiccup, their goals and interests were aligned. Sometimes Kaz found it hard to talk to others as the leader of the Dregs, to manage that dividing line between friend and boss. Sometimes he finds it hard to put into words anything about his feelings, or to touch upon his past. Sometimes he still tries to handle things by himself, like he's done a time or two with the Council. He does know though that at the end of the day, his crew has his back. Kate has his back. And there's nothing he won't do for them, either.
"I hope you know that. I think the crew knows." Right? Surely they know that Kaz is there for them. Even if he's never actually put that sentiment into words, aside from once with Inej.
Kaz has certainly loosened up. From the way he can be dead serious, stoic as a marble sculpture only to act his age or even brattier as he sticks his tongue out at her. His muscles becoming tense at her touch but quickly adjuting, relaxing, welcoming it. Kate doesn't take as many careful steps around him anymore, doesn't fear he will break like crystal if she doens't warn him every time she'll touch him.
These days, she believes its better to take him by surprise, as long as she makes him feel safe first. Building up a mood or alone in only each other's company.
"I think the crew also thinks of the crew as family, Kaz." She squeezes his hand lightly before its gone again, the back of her fingers then resting briefly against his shoulder. She pulls them back only a few inches, wondering if he is able to see the little distance or feel it. Will he also tense up if he only thinks she is touching him?
"I don't know why it took us this long," she finally says, her tone a little playful. "We already knew we love each other, right? I mean, I would have bet on us, don't know about you."
The timing and circumstance upon which they touch does matter. He's naturally more on edge when they're not alone, not wanting to risk cracking the fortress built around himself in front of others. If he's not feeling well or in a bad mood, he also doesn't want to be touched. Right now though is different. It's a rare quiet moment between the two of them. Even the Slat is as quiet as it gets in general, in those late afternoon hours before nighttime business really starts. A part of Kaz feels like he should be up and working while he knows others are not, getting further ahead in a race that exists only in his mind.
Being here with Kate though also feels important. Like simply existing with her now is adding a building block towards what they're making together.
He can sense when her hand moves away from him. He shifts himself upwards on the pillow a little to get a better angle, then daringly reaches out to lightly touch her hair. Even without his gloves it feels different than touching pure skin and he lets out a little sigh of relief. The dark strands are soft and he's sleepy, and it's easy to become memorized in the light strokes. It's very gentle, just skimming the surface of her hair rather than a head massage, but it's another form of touch. His eyes are fighting not to close, the soft haze of sleep like a weighted blanket. He's normally stressed and terrified to sleep, waiting until his body passes out on him. Moments like this are rare.
"Yes," he says quietly. "I would have bet on us." There's a long pause before he admits, "I guess it's just not a word I use often. Or at all in the past fifteen years. Give or take." He's in his middle twenties now, and the last time he said those words his father had still been alive. Even with Jordie, there had been brotherly love, but a nine and thirteen year old weren't saying that phrase to one another. It had been shown through Jordie's attempt to get Kaz into school. Actions, once again, being the bedrock of Kaz's form of communication. "It doesn't feel like anything has changed on my end to hear it. But it matters to me since it matters to you to hear it." It's not that he dislikes hearing it, it's nice to have Kate say. She's right though that the words in and of themselves aren't a revelation for him. The fact that she is here, with him, that means everything. "That you're here to say it, that's what I remember."
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noreasonneeded) wrote2024-12-23 06:23 am
no subject
But the future didn't bring her closer to fighting aliens or saving the city. Those petty crimes she commited became actual robbery and even assault. But its all about saving the underdog, isn't it? The underdogs that are now her family. These days she faces even worse criminals than the street gangs she used to fight.
Vigilante or thief, she's been someone fit for the Dregs for longer than she realized.
"Is there a question somewhere in there?" Amusement is obvious in her voice as the meaning of Kaz's words that, ironically, it catches her just around the corner, right as she teases him. She was so distracted by what her own definition of 'fighting for' is that she almost misses what she's got right under her nose.
Her hand, tucked against her shoulder, is inches away from Kaz's.
"You're not alone in this fight, you know?" She points out, only now realizing for how long she's been by herself without realizing it. Even in the most traditional sense of the word, she's been going out there in the night alone, Clint's lessons coming from calls as he enjoyed his retirement with his family.
It's been a long time since she's put a face to something worth fighting for.
Tipping the back of her hand towards his shoulder, she softly carresses it with her knuckles.
"I can be a total idiot sometimes. But I swear to you, there's nothing I want more than to stay here, by your side."
no subject
He stiffens at first at the touch, holding his breath and counting until he can adjust to it. He still has to prepare himself for contact, to brace and slowly let himself get acclimated. It's getting easier with Kate for him to fight back that initial wave of panic and remain stable at the contact. After he gives himself a few moments he reaches over to slowly, and lightly, clasp the hand that's touching him for a brief moment.
"No. I know I'm not alone. Neither are you." They've combined forces in many ways, and while they still had the occasional hiccup, their goals and interests were aligned. Sometimes Kaz found it hard to talk to others as the leader of the Dregs, to manage that dividing line between friend and boss. Sometimes he finds it hard to put into words anything about his feelings, or to touch upon his past. Sometimes he still tries to handle things by himself, like he's done a time or two with the Council. He does know though that at the end of the day, his crew has his back. Kate has his back. And there's nothing he won't do for them, either.
"I hope you know that. I think the crew knows." Right? Surely they know that Kaz is there for them. Even if he's never actually put that sentiment into words, aside from once with Inej.
no subject
These days, she believes its better to take him by surprise, as long as she makes him feel safe first. Building up a mood or alone in only each other's company.
"I think the crew also thinks of the crew as family, Kaz." She squeezes his hand lightly before its gone again, the back of her fingers then resting briefly against his shoulder. She pulls them back only a few inches, wondering if he is able to see the little distance or feel it. Will he also tense up if he only thinks she is touching him?
"I don't know why it took us this long," she finally says, her tone a little playful. "We already knew we love each other, right? I mean, I would have bet on us, don't know about you."
no subject
Being here with Kate though also feels important. Like simply existing with her now is adding a building block towards what they're making together.
He can sense when her hand moves away from him. He shifts himself upwards on the pillow a little to get a better angle, then daringly reaches out to lightly touch her hair. Even without his gloves it feels different than touching pure skin and he lets out a little sigh of relief. The dark strands are soft and he's sleepy, and it's easy to become memorized in the light strokes. It's very gentle, just skimming the surface of her hair rather than a head massage, but it's another form of touch. His eyes are fighting not to close, the soft haze of sleep like a weighted blanket. He's normally stressed and terrified to sleep, waiting until his body passes out on him. Moments like this are rare.
"Yes," he says quietly. "I would have bet on us." There's a long pause before he admits, "I guess it's just not a word I use often. Or at all in the past fifteen years. Give or take." He's in his middle twenties now, and the last time he said those words his father had still been alive. Even with Jordie, there had been brotherly love, but a nine and thirteen year old weren't saying that phrase to one another. It had been shown through Jordie's attempt to get Kaz into school. Actions, once again, being the bedrock of Kaz's form of communication. "It doesn't feel like anything has changed on my end to hear it. But it matters to me since it matters to you to hear it." It's not that he dislikes hearing it, it's nice to have Kate say. She's right though that the words in and of themselves aren't a revelation for him. The fact that she is here, with him, that means everything. "That you're here to say it, that's what I remember."