The timing and circumstance upon which they touch does matter. He's naturally more on edge when they're not alone, not wanting to risk cracking the fortress built around himself in front of others. If he's not feeling well or in a bad mood, he also doesn't want to be touched. Right now though is different. It's a rare quiet moment between the two of them. Even the Slat is as quiet as it gets in general, in those late afternoon hours before nighttime business really starts. A part of Kaz feels like he should be up and working while he knows others are not, getting further ahead in a race that exists only in his mind.
Being here with Kate though also feels important. Like simply existing with her now is adding a building block towards what they're making together.
He can sense when her hand moves away from him. He shifts himself upwards on the pillow a little to get a better angle, then daringly reaches out to lightly touch her hair. Even without his gloves it feels different than touching pure skin and he lets out a little sigh of relief. The dark strands are soft and he's sleepy, and it's easy to become memorized in the light strokes. It's very gentle, just skimming the surface of her hair rather than a head massage, but it's another form of touch. His eyes are fighting not to close, the soft haze of sleep like a weighted blanket. He's normally stressed and terrified to sleep, waiting until his body passes out on him. Moments like this are rare.
"Yes," he says quietly. "I would have bet on us." There's a long pause before he admits, "I guess it's just not a word I use often. Or at all in the past fifteen years. Give or take." He's in his middle twenties now, and the last time he said those words his father had still been alive. Even with Jordie, there had been brotherly love, but a nine and thirteen year old weren't saying that phrase to one another. It had been shown through Jordie's attempt to get Kaz into school. Actions, once again, being the bedrock of Kaz's form of communication. "It doesn't feel like anything has changed on my end to hear it. But it matters to me since it matters to you to hear it." It's not that he dislikes hearing it, it's nice to have Kate say. She's right though that the words in and of themselves aren't a revelation for him. The fact that she is here, with him, that means everything. "That you're here to say it, that's what I remember."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2025-04-02 11:04 am (UTC)Being here with Kate though also feels important. Like simply existing with her now is adding a building block towards what they're making together.
He can sense when her hand moves away from him. He shifts himself upwards on the pillow a little to get a better angle, then daringly reaches out to lightly touch her hair. Even without his gloves it feels different than touching pure skin and he lets out a little sigh of relief. The dark strands are soft and he's sleepy, and it's easy to become memorized in the light strokes. It's very gentle, just skimming the surface of her hair rather than a head massage, but it's another form of touch. His eyes are fighting not to close, the soft haze of sleep like a weighted blanket. He's normally stressed and terrified to sleep, waiting until his body passes out on him. Moments like this are rare.
"Yes," he says quietly. "I would have bet on us." There's a long pause before he admits, "I guess it's just not a word I use often. Or at all in the past fifteen years. Give or take." He's in his middle twenties now, and the last time he said those words his father had still been alive. Even with Jordie, there had been brotherly love, but a nine and thirteen year old weren't saying that phrase to one another. It had been shown through Jordie's attempt to get Kaz into school. Actions, once again, being the bedrock of Kaz's form of communication. "It doesn't feel like anything has changed on my end to hear it. But it matters to me since it matters to you to hear it." It's not that he dislikes hearing it, it's nice to have Kate say. She's right though that the words in and of themselves aren't a revelation for him. The fact that she is here, with him, that means everything. "That you're here to say it, that's what I remember."