noreasonneeded | IC/Overflow Post

[It’s true that Kaz doesn’t like the idea of saints. He doesn’t like the idea that someone else is in control of his life, he doesn’t like the idea that what happened to him is at the whims of something he can’t beat to death with his cane. Kaz doesn’t want to give someone else credit for pulling himself back to his feet, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to seek revenge on a fairytale he doesn’t believe exists.

He knows she sees it differently. He knows she sees strength in higher powers, finds hope in their light, in beings like Alina and Neyar. It wouldn’t be Inej without her faith, and while he doesn’t trust those she places her faith in sometimes, he always has faith in her.

She’s right. He doesn’t see himself as any savior, either. He likes to think they simply fought their way together to this point. That she was brave enough to approach him, and that he was smart enough to notice her.]

I’ve walked over more bodies than I’ve pulled out of the shadows, Inej. I’m not a good person. You’re more than the shadows, though. Seems like you’re getting the chance to prove that.

We can just keep saying it’s easier to hook a slaver than a fish. Say something enough times to enough people and it becomes the truth.

[ Just like the legend of him not having hands that look like anyone else's has spread. Say it enough times and have the persona to back it up, and people will believe the impossible. Inej is glad she knows better now. That legend is a disservice to his hands. They're gentle despite the calluses. They're hands that belong to a boy who deserves better. ]

You might not be a good person in your eyes, but you are in mine. You're not going to win this fight, Kaz.

[ There's no point in trying, even though she knows he'll do so until the stubborn, bitter end. He's a good person. He's enabled her to fulfil a wish of her own. He's encouraged her to unfurl her wings and see that they're no longer as battered and beaten as they once were in the Menagerie. He's made her laugh and smile and pissed her off. That's all signs of a good person.

It's clear in her voice that she's smiling. ] I'm Captain Inej Ghafa of The Wraith and I never lose a fight aboard my ship.

[ And he's technically on her ship, what with her sharing the sound of the waves and the way the wooden planks of the floor groan beneath her purposefully loud feet. She carries him wherever she goes. He's subject to her rules in the world where she reigns. ]

You’re not going to be aboard your ship when you come visit… us. [He nearly said ‘me.’] Don’t think I can’t pick up an argument decades later, let alone weeks or days. I’ve never forgotten a single one I’ve had since I was about three. I’m not above storing up all our discourse for when you’re in Ketterdam.

[She’s coming home. That reminder makes him smile, as much as hearing the smile in her own voice does.]

Don’t try and say it’s cheating, either. As we know, cheating’s just creative winning, anyway.

Do I need to make housing arrangements for your crew? [He just figures she’ll stay with the Crows, but the rest?] I can ensure rooms at a reputable inn are available once you have a time frame, unless they prefer to remain on your ship. [He imagines she’ll want to keep a rotating skeletal crew aboard at least.]

[ It's cheating! But she'll pick that argument back up much later when he insists on being absolutely infuriatingly stubborn about it. He's a good person. She doesn't care to hear anything to the contrary.

Inej laughs. She can't help it. Kaz is always looking to be a pain in the ass in the best of ways. ]

I think most of them will sleep on the ship, but… [ She doesn't wish to put Kaz out, even though she knows he'd never feel or think that way. She likes that she can come home and he'll welcome her with open arms—in his own way, of course. ]

I want them to experience some of Ketterdam. We picked up a few people from Ravka who have never been to Ketterdam before. Specht told them about the sweet shops.

[ She won't be surprised if Kaz lets that slip to both Wylan and Jesper. Jesper's the kind who'd plan an itinerary on how to best enjoy the sweets, only for Wylan to scoop it out from underneath him as the tour guide. ]

If it's no trouble… I can let you know when we're close to Ketterdam.

[The very first thing that Kaz and Jordie did when arriving in Ketterdam was spend too much of their small savings gorging themselves on sweets. On all the rich food varieties that Ketterdam has to offer. The island nation is the financial hub of the globe, and as such, trade and commerce bring all kinds. Including cuisines.

There’s something so innocent about these refuges from Ravka wanting to eat the sweets first. It flickers the embers of a memory in Kaz’s blackened coal heart. Perhaps what follows after won’t be a nightmare for them, now that he’s capable of protecting those who seek harbor in his city. He actually does have the means to set them up with new lives. Perhaps he’s stretching his resources thin, taking some risks, but the reward is worth it. Besides, it isn’t like he doesn’t have a steady stream of jobs.]

It would be more trouble if you didn’t let me know. I’d be put out if I heard from one of my runners about you approaching rather than from your mouth. [Kaz likes to know, he likes to plan. He does not like surprises.] I’ll make sure that your new arrivals have a fitting Ketterdam experience. [Which means that yes, he’ll pass along the welcome wagon to those who enjoy hospitality.]

I’m not always in Ketterdam these days anyway, so yes, please give me notice when you can.

[He’d be even more miffed if he missed a visit by her.]

You know I will.

[ Part of the reason why she wants to return to Kerch is because of him. She wants to see Jesper and Wylan and Anika and see the way the Crow Club has changed while still remaining the same. She wants to return home and have it feel like home. That can't happen if he's not there.

His words prompt butterflies to flutter around in her belly. The idea of him wanting to know as a matter of priority leaves her feeling deliciously warm. ]

But where are you if not Ketterdam?

[ It's strange to picture Kaz anywhere but the city that he claims is his. ]

It varies, depending upon the job. Apparently, the skills and services provided by the Crows are deemed worthy of note when they're useful. [His tone is a little scathing and bitter, but taking on such jobs means he can bring back more resources to protect his city. He just finds it funny that the line he's claimed is blurred since he was nine is finally being noted by others. So very funny how saints and kings and everything in between will care about street rats, when they can ferry and fetch to do what needs to be done.

Though not all who hire him are created equal. He only plots the demise of most of them once he's got his pockets lined with their gold.]

Don't worry. I never leave for long.

If you need help, I'd come back.

[ Even if he could use her skills, she knows he'd never ask her to return to Ketterdam to help him with a job while she's out at sea. Kaz isn't the best at asking. He can give and he can take from those he deems worth taking from, but he'll never take her from the sea.

She'll have to ensure Jesper keeps her up to date then. ]

I believe you. [He can't say he's always believed that. Inej calculated once that he could do without her. That she could weave in another priority, and still get his job done. It meant she wasn't by his side.

It was complicated. He knows that if his life was on the line, she'd come without question. She trusts that he's better than that happening most of the time. Isn't that true of him with her? He's sent her on a ship with only his faith in her. He owes it to her, to reassure her that he's holding the fort while she settles her own scores.]

I've got it handled. [And he does, for the most part.] If I didn't, I'd figure it out.

[ She doesn't push. Pushing Kaz is like trying to shoulder a large boulder up a hill. It's next to impossible and she's bound to hurt herself more than she encourages him to budge. But for Inej, it's important that he at least knows. She'd come back for him, for any of them. ]

I know.

[ Not that he needs her to reaffirm what he already knows, but she knows he's more than capable. It's why she knew she could leave. They'd all look after each other in her absence. ]

If I do come back while you're out… I'll make sure to wait so I can at least see you.

[ She doesn't want him rushing back for her, not that she thinks he would. His business is the most important asset he has, but… She feels the need to tell him, anyway. ]

[He nearly says she doesn't have to wait for him, but he doesn't, because he doesn't want it to be misunderstood that he wouldn't want to see her. He does, he wants her at his side once more literally as well as figuratively.]

At least we have an easier means of coordinating now.

[There's a beat before he admits.]

I haven't wanted to leave this call for even a moment because if I came back and you were gone... [If the call had abruptly ended in his absence and he couldn't get ahold of her, he'd have to steal a ship and make sure she was fine.

He gets her desire to make sure the people she cares about are fine, to be there for them, as much as it's habit to brush the concerns aside.]

You'd still be able to reach me. Maybe not immediately, but I'd make sure we talk sooner rather than later.

[ She says it gently. It's a fear that she has, too, but she knows without a doubt that he's on land, kept alive by the likes of Jesper and Wylan. She supposes that the land is considered sturdier than the sea. She has Specht and her crew, and although Specht is very much a good, solid part of the Dregs, he's not a Crow. ]

If anything happened, Ketterdam would be the only place we go, no matter how far away we are. The crew knows that.

[ It's not something she's ever shared. Ketterdam is home, and if something happened out in the water, she wants to return home to recuperate. There is no other place safer to dock than berth twenty-two. Kaz made sure of that. ]

Ketterdam will always be here to welcome you. [His unforgiving mother, a city he's risen up in and claimed as the heir. As long as he's alive, she'll have a home she can freely move about in.]

I should check on Wylan. Do you need to go or did you want to come with me? [A silly way to put it but he doesn't know a better one for taking the device with him.]

[ It's easy to interchange "Ketterdam" with his name. It prompts butterflies to flutter warmly in her stomach regardless.

Given how the True Sea's still gentle and she can hear some singing up on the deck, Inej can safely say there's no need for her to leave. She doesn't want to, either. She either wants him to end the call so he can sleep or have the communicator give out. ]

I can say hello to Wylan and make sure you give him a break from this very important project.

[The communicator will likely give out first, admittedly. He knows that it's likely nearing the end of it's power and they'll have to say goodbye so it can recharge. Still. There's a little time left.]

Breaks are for people whose brains are boring.

[He gets to his feet, pulls on his gloves, and starts walking towards the door, keeping the communicator in one hand and his cane in the other. She can likely hear his limp is heavy tonight thanks to the weather. There's the usual pause at the top of the stairs before heading down the three flights. Only this time it's figuring out that he can't use the railing in one hand if he's holding the communicator. He tries to keep the embarrassment out of his voice.]

Inej, I need to put this thing in my pocket for a minute.

[He does so, using his cane and the railing to get to the bottom. He likely could have managed without one, but it would have taken longer and she'd have heard the strain. Either way, it's not like she doesn't know he has a bad leg. He simply hates when he has to compromise to compensate for it sometimes. Once he's at the bottom he takes it out again.]

Back.

[He says that even though a part of him wants to apologize. He doesn't apologize though, and he knows she's not the sort to want one now, anyway.]

[ She laughs and shakes her head. Yes, breaks are for people whose brains are boring. Thankfully, Kaz has never been boring, not even when he's needed to take a second or two for himself. She often encourages it so he doesn't burn out.

Inej patiently waits, taking this as an opportunity to listen to him properly. Nothing about his gait has changed. The time it takes for him to reach the floor is still around the same time it took for him when she was on land and able to be on his heels rather than his pocket. Is it wrong she's grateful that she can be gone and the Slat is still the same? That he is, despite the changes he's been making around him? ]

The staircase still creaks. Jesper tried to tell me that Anika fixed it.

[ She clucks her tongue. It's easier to joke about the stairs than to ask what's really on her mind, which is whether or not his leg is giving him pain tonight. She doesn't think he'd want to hear that question when the answer's always the same. ]

I think what happened was that it was first made worse, then 'fixed' back to its usual creaky level.

[He shakes his head, but it's par for the course when Anika and Jesper conspire. He heads to Wylan's lab space, half-surprised not to find Jesper perched somewhere on a table. There's a plate of half-finished food that's sitting a safe distance from where the chemicals and other assorted gadgets are being worked with. Wylan looks up as he hears Kaz, giving a small wave.]

Hi, Kaz. I'm on track, should be done by morning. [He sees the device in Kaz's hands and he doesn't even have to ask.]

Hey, Inej! How are you?

[ It's so good to hear Wylan's voice. Without even needing to look at him, she knows he's smiling. He always seemed at his happiest when he was needed. ]

Hey, Wylan. I'm good. I'm finally spending more time dry than wet.

[ Considering her last letter where she complained about never being able to stay dry from the salt spray and rain, she thinks this is a decent development. ]

Hopefully you didn't just jinx that.

[ Best not to think about it. Inej is sure the Saints in the sky will open up and pour down on The Wraith now. All Inej does is chuckle instead before she decides to get to the crux of her teasing. ]

I hope Kaz hasn't been working you too hard. You can say no to him, you know.

Why would I say no? Kaz brings me… let’s call them interesting projects. I like problem solving. [Kaz hands him an absolutely lunatic request and Wylan gets to figure out how to make it work. Two sides of a workaholic puzzle-loving coin that finally found one another.]

[As they talk Kaz does as he usually does, which is tilt and tip bottles and items to better look at them and the labels.]

Don’t, Kaz. That one could leave you hairless. [Wylan draws in a patient breath and gives a pointed smile as Kaz freezes and slowly moves his hand to his side giving that particular bottle a wide berth.] You know, Inej and Nina never randomly touch things in my lab. Only you and Jesper. [He’s not saying it’s a Them Problem but he is.]

I like knowing what goes into what you do. [Chemistry is a whole other sort of puzzle, and Kaz likes puzzles. He’ll never be a chemist, but he’s curious.]

[Gently, because Wylan gets that, he really does.] And I’d be happy to tell you. Inej would be very cross to come home and find you without eyebrows, right? Hopefully you’re coming home to visit before they’d grow back?

If Kaz burnt off his eyebrows, I'd be there in a heartbeat to mourn them and what was once a very expressively handsome face.

[ Inej ensures to sigh heavily as she clucks her tongue in sadness. Kaz without his eyebrows would be a ghastly sight for them all. How would they know if he's teasing them then? ]

Nina and I value keeping our hair and eyebrows. Can you imagine Nina without hers?

[ Wylan makes a point of shuddering audibly, although his smile is clear in the warmth of his voice. ] I don't even want to consider it. [ He rushes to add: ] Not that I don't think she'd still look lovely! It's Nina; she's always quite well-dressed and groomed. It's just…

Nina's Nina and she's very passionate about her eyebrows?

I'd assume it's nothing on the same scale as waffles, but I wouldn't dare wish to find out. I wouldn't get too close to that, Kaz.

[Kaz stills at the ‘handsome’ part, for just a second. He hopes Wylan didn’t notice. Wylan had, but he’s kind enough not to comment or tease Kaz about it. He just ducks his head and smiles a little wider. It’s nice to see Kaz can be drawn up short by something, even if just for a second.]

I’m just looking. There are only so many places to stand in a room.

Stand over there by the food plate. You can help yourself to some of it even if you want.

[Kaz gives him a scowl but he does move.]

Just work as you talk.

I suppose that’s better than talking in my sleep. I’m always horrified I’ll say something stupid. You know who is an amazing sleep talker? [Both men say it at the same time, only Kaz’s voice is deadpan while Wylan’s is smitten.] Jesper.

Right, er well. Inej, have you ever learned one of your secrets from someone sleep talking?

[ If Wylan was Jesper, he'd have grasped that descriptor of Kaz and belt it into the ground within minutes. Inej is grateful Wylan isn't like that. She flushes at the slip, although a part of her had felt that it was intentional on her part. It's easier to get away with saying what she thinks when no one can read her face. ]

Of course.

[ Inej smiles and considers what she wants to share with both of them. She's learned secrets from all of them: Kaz's lack of sleep implies he's hiding from something lurking in his dreams; Jesper longs for stability he often rejects; Nina wishes for a happily ever after that's hers to craft and not be handed to her like some order; Matthias dreams of wolves and acceptance; and Wylan sings in his sleep. ]

I've learned plenty from Jesper. He talks very loudly, and we've had to sleep in the same room a couple of times. I've learned he dreams a lot about socks.

[ Jesper is the easiest to pick on, especially since she knows Wylan will at least use this information for evil teasing. ]

There was this merchant who said a name in his sleep. It wasn't his wife's.

[ Wylan makes an amused noise as he laughs. ] No way!

I wasn't the only one who heard it.

That is… amazing. I always thought that happened in stories, not real life. That's so messy.

That’s people. [Being messy and sloppy.] Most people. [important clarification that excludes him.]

[Wylan looks at Kaz curiously, then.] Do you sleep talk?

No.

But… you never sleep around anyone, so how do you know? [They’re so very alike sometimes in needing logical deductions, in noting inconsistencies and poking at them. The difference is that Wylan usually is doing it out of an innocent desire to understand, and the look he gives Kaz isn’t one of smug one upmanship but rather genuine curiosity.]

I’ve slept around people before.

[In the gang’s early days, he most certainly had not had a room all to himself. He’d simply slept very lightly, constantly on edge even in slumber, never really trusting to let himself relax. He sees Wylan’s eyes widen, his mouth open to continue this walk down memory’s past, and Kaz shuts him down hard and fast.] A long time ago. Carry on.

I sometimes have great design ideas when I sleep. I wake up and panic I’ll lose them. Jesper started leaving paper beside the bed so I can jot down drawings. [Tentatively, because he does want to impress Kaz, like he wants to all his friends…] I could show you them sometime, maybe they’ll be useful?

… I’ll look at them. No promises. [He doesn't want to renegade on one, and he'd rather be blunt now than apologetic later. It breaks Kaz’s heart, the little he has left of one, to see how much that means to Wylan. The man was a brilliant scientist made to chase after scraps of affirmation. That break? Kaz fills with anger on his behalf.]

And Inej! I need to see your ship, I have reinforcements for your cannons - I mean, if you’ll let… if you want. Not saying your ship needs anything. That you do, you’re brilliant. But… I kind of wanted to… upgrade if you’re okay with it?

Edited 2023-04-23 23:21 (UTC)

[ There are some things about Kaz that not even Inej is aware of, but she had assumed he'd have slept around others. Jordie, for one. Although he's tightlipped about what his brother had been like, she imagines Jordie would've told Kaz if he spoke in his sleep.

She doesn't wish to pick up that conversation again. How Kaz has confirmed he doesn't talk in his sleep is his business. All she knows is that he's never asleep when she's awake. ]

I would love that.

[ Sometimes Inej wonders how anyone can speak to Wylan and not come away from the interaction without aching cheeks. He always has her smiling. He's the best of them all with the kindest of intentions. She's grateful he takes Kaz's rougher touch in stride. ]

When I come back, maybe you can have a look at the ladder, too. It's getting caught sometimes when it's really windy. Specht and I figured you'd be the best person to ask for a solution on how to make it stop doing that. If you don't mind—maybe it's something obvious but… you look at things differently than we do.

[ Inej sees a rope to climb. Wylan would see it as something more than that. ]

That is if Kaz can spare you for at least a day.

[ She's teasing. A little. ]

I… say that I can be spared. [It’s like a lamb trying on wolf’s clothing. Wylan might even have Kaz in mind as he makes his little stand, just like he adopted Inej’s and Jesper’s against Kaz when in the waffle house. Inej could even hear the drawled edge to the words, a signature of Kaz’s that Wylan’s trying out. Slowly but surely Wylan is learning how to stand up to his friends, testing the waters that they won’t throw him out for disagreeing. The only time he truly hadn’t cared if he ended up on the streets is when he’d told Kaz in no uncertain terms would he hurt Alby.

Kaz had looked at him like he’d noticed a new part of Wylan. Instead of getting thrown out, Kaz had reassured him.]

I say that sounds fun. You and me aboard your ship, Kaz and Jesper left to their own devices.

[Kaz glances over at him, bemusement at the audacity quirking up one corner of his lips.]

Free rein to your laboratory, problem solver. I accept the challenge.

... this is why I have you stand by the food, you know.

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