noreasonneeded | IC/Overflow Post

Kelp me. [ Inej frowns. That doesn't sound right at all. As soon as she speaks, she follows it up with a panicked, ] Wait, that's not how it goes!

[ Jesper bursts out laughing, clapping his hands. When he realises he's not clapping them close to Inej, he ensures to do so right over the communicator so that she can hear that he's laughing so very hard. ] There she is. The Wraith. The doomer of all jokes. How did that last joke of yours go? The one with the gorilla and the bartender? I've noticed you don't say any more bar jokes, Nej.

[ The one good thing about not being in the same room with either of them is that she can hide her face in her hands without Jesper pointing at her and bringing it to everyone's attention. Her face heats like she's the sun. Sometimes she wonders if she's truly an Inferni with how often her skin flushes like this.

And when she speaks again, her voice is muffled, but still loud in her horror. ]

Shut up, Jes! You messed me up on the last one!

Wait, it... might make sense...

[Kaz is trying. He's very tired and a little tipsy but his sheer will power refuses to be anything less than on point. Maybe what she said makes sense if he was in a better headspace.

It doesn't.

Maybe he can make it make more sense?]

No it works.

'Kelp me who?'

'Kelp me like those shell frauds don't.' [LISTEN he tried, he wanted to make it work. He has her back. Crows fly together? He's very tired.]

... if you wanted to take the heat for absolutely failing, Kaz... well done. Failing at the joke, that is.

[At slowly being an actual human person? Maybe he's learning.]

[ Inej can't help but chuckle at Kaz trying to rescue her poorly executed joke. It was bound to happen. No matter how many times she recites it over and over in her head, she jumbles it up. Perhaps it's for the best; Inej would rather retain the information she's carefully collected than mess that up for Kaz. ] Not even you can save this one, Kaz, but thank you for trying.

Maybe that's the joke. Kaz trying to save the joke from the Wraith.

[ Inej's sigh is put upon. ] Be nice, Jes.

I'm just saying. And I'm always nice. I didn't try and correct your joke or remind you that I am the best joker out of the lot of you. Of everyone in the city, perhaps.

I see you're still modest.

And you're still a poor joke teller, Inej. So poor that the boss man feels the need to save you. Now, that's funny.

[ Obviously no offence to Kaz, but he should've let that joke drown a very quick drowning. ]

Trust me! It's funny! The joke, not... [ Inej groans and audibly smacks her hand against her forehead. ] I hate you both.

I haven't done anything at the moment.

I like that you had to add that bit at the end. 'At the moment.' It shows a modicum of self-awareness.

[He earns a look at that.]

Yes, yes, you bring literal meaning to the phrase 'killer looks.' [Kazzle stretches and trots over to curl up on Kaz's bed.] Even the cat gets more use out of your bed. Or he's trying to tell us that we're boring. No, it can't be that. We're all three fascinating people. Me the most.

[ At least Kaz is self-aware enough to know something is on the horizon when it comes to him. She could never hate him even if he tried to make her, but she likes that both of them take it in stride.

Her face is still flushed with embarrassment for botching a simple joke. Thankfully, neither of them can see it. She has the luxury of playing it off.

After taking a sip of water, she closes her eyes and tries to imagine a cat on Kaz's bed. She can almost see it. ]

Cats sleep a lot, you know—and they sleep even more when they're surrounded by very tall, boring men. [ Like the two of them. Inej allows that implication to remain silent. She misses them dearly, although she can't admit that to Kaz. The walls they've managed to knock down tonight would erect thickly in an instant. ] Let him sleep on the pillow, Kaz. It's a nice pillow.

Hey! We are fascinating tall men, thank you very much.

I don't really care if I'm interesting or not. [He's heard many times that he focuses on work too much and it slides right off his back.]

Well, fine. You're boring and you make me boring by association, apparently.

The cat can sleep where he wants as long as it's not where I'm walking. Which until tonight I would have said that makes the bed fine, because what weirdos would walk on a bed? [These two weirdos he's talking to, apparently.]

I think he might be implying something, Inej.

I think he is, Jesper.

[ She ensures to hum long and loud as though she's considering the magnitude of Kaz's statement. He hasn't said not to walk on his bed—and Inej will ensure that she does so when she returns to Ketterdam, with or without him witnessing it. ]

How does that make you feel, Inej? I'm curious. [ Jesper presses his fingers to his chin as he hums thoughtfully. Stirring the pot has always been an incredibly gratifying hobby of his, even if this pot won't exactly bubble over into something extraordinary. Kaz is as unemotive as a brick wall sometimes. ]

As a weirdo who walks on Kaz Brekker's bed when he is and isn't in the room, it makes me feel like doing it even more. I might even consider jumping on it.

Ahh. And how does that make you feel, Kaz? Knowing that a weirdo is going to jump on your bed when she's next in the city? You must have some feelings about that.

[Kaz obstinately does not play along and hum to complete the trio of songbirds, though he does give a small headshake in exasperated fondness at them.]

I don’t have feelings. I have solutions.

You say that, but you love us too much to booby trap the bed with anything really nasty. … probably.

Put your unwashed feet on my pillow and find out.

[ Ah, yes; typical Kaz. His lack of playing along is already adding to the chorus of humming.

Inej can't help but snicker, but when she speaks next, she feigns offence. ]

I hope you're talking to Jesper and not me!

Hey! I'm deeply offended by what you're implying about my feet, Nej! My foot care routine is to die for.

I’m talking to both of you. I know where both of you have been. Only the cat can touch my pillow.

[A beat. Jesper’s gangly leg slowly extending out from the table…

Kaz’s cane moves to hit the sole of his foot in a very elegant swing.]

Oow! Okay, you’re not drinking enough if you can hit a target.

The goal isn’t to get drunk, Jesper.

Right, the goal is to take the absolute piss out of one another. And I think we’ve been letting Inej off the hook, save for when she hanged herself with that joke.

[ She can't help but laugh. Even though she's not there to see it, it's so easy to imagine a scenario where Jesper's putting his foot out to test the waters and for the shark to snap at him. Inej doesn't need to know the exact details to know what's happened. ]

Kaz just said I had dirty feet! I'm hanging on the hook like you, Jes.

Pfft. [ He mutters a small "Ow". ] You're not the one who won't be able to walk in the morning, Nej. Besides, we have weeks to make up for. Just because you're at sea doesn't mean you're not wracking up a debt for us taking the piss out of you. Isn't that right, Kaz?

Oh, stop whining. You can walk just fine.

After Wylan massages it for me. Oh wait, he can’t, because you’re mental and you encourage him being mental, it’s how you two bond. And you didn’t answer, Inej owes us some teasing, doesn’t she?

I think it’s her turn for the fat to meet the fryer. Think she’s made one of her crew act as parrot?

I hope for her saints not, she’s great at relaying information but imagine all the proverbs at a rallying cry for pirates? Really all one needs is a quip and a smirk to get the party started. Inej, love, I will have to ask you to convey your smirk to us through the device. If you can’t get it imbued in your words, then do you really have it at all?

I'm still here!

[ Which she supposes is the point. When it used to be the three of them, Jesper and Kaz would talk over her like she was a part of the shadows. She'd do the same to either of them, although Jesper was easier to exasperate than Kaz.

Perhaps it can have a double meaning. She's still here. She's still a Crow. No matter how far she sails, she's always with them. ]

I'll have you know my pirate cries are really, really good. [ She has no pirate cry, but she ensures to sound smug about it. ] And only pirates get to hear it. Considering neither of you is one, I guess you miss out on the fun.

[ Ha! ]

[Should his heart break a little at her insistent reminder of her existence? He's not the skill nor care to answer. He does note it though, as he does everything.

Kaz doesn't care at all about himself, but he's yet to fully safeguard against bleeding for his people. He sees her, now and always, but after she jokes about ignoring them for her new crew... it might not be a joke.

He's glad Jesper's here. He knows he won't be for much longer.]

We're plenty pirates! We're just ones that don't need an ocean to find a purpose. Right, Kaz? ... Kaz?

Right.

[ She rolls her eyes. ]

When I come back to Ketterdam, you can be pirates when you board my ship and help me unload it.

Did you hear that, Kaz? We get to be pirates! [ And Jesper's voice is as warm as his smile. The idea excites him, as it had back when Inej had playfully spitballed being a pirate to him so long ago. ] And you get to help our Nej unload her ship. What a great time it'll be for you while I learn the pirate cries.

[ Jesper's warm response doesn't surprise her. She doesn't expect the same from Kaz. He's always been guarded and aloof, and him acting any different would set her world a little off-kilter uncomfortably. ]

You know I’m sitting right here with you. I can hear the same things you hear.

Just making sure you’re paying attention.

I always notice everything.

Well, that’s just not true. How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?

How many fingers do you want left functioning?

Cranky. Maybe Inej should take you with her and leave Kazzle in charge here.

Only if you teach Kazzle that crows are his friends.

[ Inej knows Kaz will never take to the True Sea, not like Jesper would. Jesper might grow green, but Kaz… Asking Kaz to board her ship and spend weeks at the hand of the sea is disregarding everything she knows about him. He likes the land; it's strong and sturdy and he can control it. The ocean is a beast of its own that not even Dirtyhands can overpower.

She doesn't want him to peer over the edge of the ship and see Jordie. ]

But I think it's best Kaz stays on land. I think he'd make everyone in my crew walk the plank as a lesson—and then I'd have no crew.

That makes me curious… Would you make Inej walk the plank, Kaz?

She likes walking the plank.

That isn't what I asked.

What's the context, then? Have enemies boarded? Is the ship weather damaged? Did she drink my coffee?

Oh gods you're exhausting to hypothesize with. Also I can hear your belly growling and it's distracting. [He gracefully leaps up to bound for the door.] I'm going to get snacks and check on Wylan. Try to have some fun without me.

[As the door closes Kaz folds his arms on the desk and rests his head on them, his voice now a little muffled from it.] Do you hear that, Inej? No, because it's silent. It's glorious.

Edited 2023-04-20 11:35 (UTC)

[ Inej chuckles softly. Despite his clear exasperation at Jesper and his high levels of energy, Kaz enjoys his company. Inej enjoys it, too, even when keeping up with him exhausts her. He's one of the only few capable of such a feat.

She can imagine Kaz with his head bowed either in the cup of his gloved hands or on the table. She's not quite sure which one happens to be true in this instance; she misses being able to confirm for herself.

Gently, ] If you need to go, you should go, Kaz. I know you have plenty of things to do that isn't talking to me.

[ But that's not what she wants. Inej is selfish, not selfless, and it's grown worse over the time she's spent out at sea. ]

[He does care for Jesper like a brother, and just like having a sibling, part of that love includes fond exasperation. It’s nice to hang out with him, but it can also get exhausting. Thankfully, Jesper has many people with whom he can pass his extroverted self around to get attention while Kaz refuels in quiet.]

I can do many things at the same time including talking to you. I’m a very capable man, Inej.

… unless you wanted to go? [It’s his third check in at least to see if she’s done, he doesn’t even realize how often he gives her outs from him.]

No.

[ She shakes her head. Perhaps she answered too quickly, although Inej's tone had been light and not at all forced. Kaz will know, though. He picks up on so much, even on things that she hadn't even noticed herself.

But it's the truth. She doesn't wish to go. ]

This is actually one of the first nights I have to myself. It's been so busy here that it's just nice to sit and…

[ Talk to him and Jesper, but mostly him. Her crew are wonderful and warm, but none of them possesses his biting remarks or dry wit. None of them are him.

Inej's quiet for a brief moment before she damns her own uncertainties to hell and finishes: ] It's nice to think about home.

[The quickness of her response eases some of the insecurities he has that flare up from time to time. Lifting his head he tucks in properly at the desk, his heart doing a little flip flop at hearing she still thought of Ketterdam as home. He hopes that she's at ease and happy doing what she does now, that she does find solace with her crew and a place to belong aboard her ship. Still. It's nice to hear that her old ties to the Barrel aren't severed.]

Your room's always here, for when you want it.

[Perhaps it's sentimental, but he never wants her to ever feel like she doesn't have a place to call home should she want it. Even if it's not a bed she'll make much use of again. It's there. She's not forgotten.]

[ Inej had entertained the thought of Kaz reassigning her room to someone else. Perhaps Anika, who deserves a room even if she much prefers living a few streets away, or someone else that he's recruited since her departure. Kaz isn't the sentimental type, so for him to keep her room… Inej understands its meaning.

And she knows better than to tell him he can give it to someone else. He's given her the chance to hang up and go about sitting in her captain's quarters all by herself three times now. Give him an inch… She doesn't want him misinterpreting her. ]

I'm glad you won't be making me sleep in Jesper's room. He snores and talks in his sleep, Kaz. He has actual conversations with himself.

[ She chuckles. That's a mistake she won't make again after choosing to rest beside him many moons ago.

She's grateful that nothing has changed. She's not quite sure if she should voice it. ]

We're planning to come back to Ketterdam soon. I like sleeping on the ship, but… it'd be nice to be in my old bed.

Oh, trust me. I've thought about smothering him in his sleep a few times, myself. There wouldn't be any room to bunk with him, though. He gave Wylan a key. They share the space now.

Oh?

[He tries not to sound too excited, though there's a slight perk to his voice if one is keen enough to catch it.]

Let me know when you're close enough to have an arrival date.

I'll make sure someone walks on it just before you use it.

[ Inej can't help but laugh loudly. She hopes he does that. She wants her bed to have been immaculately made and then walked all over by him. Or rolled in, but the thought of Kaz in—or on, really—her bed makes her blush. ]

Does this mean I get to walk on your bed? Or will you be locking all the locks now that you know what I get up to when you're not looking?

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