So that you can hit with it when you need to, right?

[It's brilliant in it's simplicity. It's something he always has and uses like an extension of himself.]

I do my best to not lose myself. There have been a few losses that left me in a stupor for months at a time. But I have to keep going

I've noticed you don't sit still. I could help you sleep tonight if you want. My bed is much bigger than yours, we could make a little wall of pillows. It won't be as strong as with contact, but I should still be able to calm you.